This
page is dedicated to all of you
NO CODE
NEWBIES
No-Coder 2 Meter
Operation tips.
On two meters lately, I have noticed a tendency of
people making a concerted effort to sound like a Lid (i.e. poor
operator). Since this appears to be the new style in amateur radio, I
thought I would present this handy guide to radio nerd dom. The
following is what I call: "How to sound like a Lid
in one easy lesson."
1) Use as many Q signals as possible. Yes, I know they
were invented solely for CW, and are totally inappropriate for two-meter
FM, but they're fun and entertaining. They keep people guessing as to
what you really meant. i.e. "I'm going to QSY to the kitchen." Can you
really change frequency to the kitchen? QSL used to mean " I am
acknowledging receipt!" But now it appears to mean "yes" or "OK."
I guess I missed it when the AARL changed the meaning.
2) Never laugh, when you can say "hi hi." No one will
ever know you aren't a long CW rag chewer if you don't tell them.
They'll think you've been on since the days of Marconi.
"
3) Utilize an alternative vocabulary. Use words like "designated
and negatory." It's OK to make up your own words here. "Yeah
Bill, I pheelbartzaphonix occasionally myself."
4) Always say "XX6XXX (insert your own call) for I.D."
Anything that creates redundancy is always strongly encouraged. That's
why we have the Department of Redundancy Department. (Please note that
you can follow your call with "for identification purposes" instead of
"for I.D." While taking longer to say, it is worth more lid-points.)
5) The better the copy on two-meter FM, the more you
should phonetically spell your name, especially if it is a short and/or
common one. i.e. "My name is Al . . .Alpha Lima" or "Jack . . .Juliet
Alpha Charlie Kilo", or or "Jim.... Juliet India Mike." If at all
possible, make up unintelligible phonetics. "My name is Bob . . .Billibong
Oregano Bumperpool."
6) Always give the calls of yourself and everyone who
is (or has been) in the group, whether they are still there or not.
While this has been unnecessary for years, it is still a wonderful
memory test.
7) Whenever possible, use the wrong terminology. It
keeps people guessing. Use "modulation" when you mean "deviation" and
vice-versa. And even if the two-meter FM amplifier you're using is a
Class C type amp, and thus not biased for linear amplification, be sure
to call it your "linear." Heck, refer to all FM-style amplifiers as
"linears." You'll be the king of the "wrong terminology " hill.
8) If someone asks for a break, always finish your
turn, talking as long as possible before turning it over. Whenever
possible, pass it around a few times first. This will discourage the
breaker and, if it is an emergency, will encourage him to switch to
another repeater and not bother you.
9) Always ask involved questions of the person who is
trying to sign out. Never let him get by with a yes or no answer. Make
it a question that will take a long time to answer.
10) The less you know about the subject, the more you
should speculate about it on the air. The amount of time spend on your
speculations should be inversely proportional to your knowledge of the
subject.
11) If someone on the repeater is causing interference, you should talk
about that person at great length, making sure to comment on at least
four out of six of the following: (1) his mental state; (2) his family;
(3) his intelligence, or lack of same; (4) his sexual preference; (5)
his relationship to small animals; (6) his other methods of self
entertainment.
12) If you hear two amateurs start a conversation on
the repeater, wait until they are 20 seconds or so into their contact,
and then break-in to give your call sign, and say that you're
monitoring! Or even better yet, use the auto patch to make a call. Make
sure that it's only a simple routine phone call. It's also very
important that you run the auto patch for the full three minutes.
13) You hear someone on the repeater giving directions
to a visiting amateur. Even if the directions are good, make sure you
break-in with your own "alternate route but better way to get there"
version. This is most effective if several other Lid trainees join in,
each with a different route. By the time the amateur wanting directions
unscrambles all the street names whizzing around in his head, he should
have traveled out of range of the repeater. This keeps you from having
to stick around and help the guy get back out of town later.
14) Use the repeater for an hour or two at a time,
preventing others from using it. Better yet, do it on a daily basis.
Your quest is to make people so sick of hearing your voice every time
they turn on their radio, they'll move to another frequency. This way
you'll lighten the load on the repeater, leaving even more time for you
to talk on it.
15) See just how much mobile flutter you can generate
by operating at handheld power levels too far from the repeater. Engage
people in conversations when you know they won't be able to copy half of
what you're saying. Even when they say you are "un-copy-able," continue
to string them along by making further transmissions. See just how
frustrated you can make the other amateur before he finally signs off in
disgust.
16) Give out wacky radio advice. When a newcomer's
signal is weak into the repeater, tell him he can correct the problem by
adjusting the volume and squelch knobs on his radio. Or tell people
they're full quieting except for the white noise on their signal. Or. .
.well, you get the idea.
17) Use lots of radio jargon. After all, it makes you
feel important using words average people don't say. Who cares if it
makes you sound like you just fell off of Channel 19 on the Citizen's
Band? Use phrases such as "Roger on that," "10-4," "You're making the
trip," and "Negatory on that."
18) Use excessive microphone gain. See just how loud
you can make your audio. Make sure the audio gain is so high that other
amateurs can hear bugs crawling on your floor. If you're mobile ... make
sure the wind noise is loud enough so that others have to strain to pick
your words out from all the racket.
19) Be as verbose as possible. Never say "yes" when
you can say "He acquiesced in the affirmative by saying 'yes'." (No
kidding, I actually heard that one.)
20) Start every transmission with the word "Roger" or
"QSL." Sure, you don't need to acknowledge that you received the other
transmission in full. After all, you would simply ask for a repeat if
you missed something. But consider it your gift to the other amateur to
give him solace every few seconds that his transmissions are being
received.
21) When looking for a contact on the repeater, always
say you're "listening" or "monitoring" multiple times. I've always found
that at least a half dozen times or so is good. Repeating your multiple
"listening" ID's every 10-15 seconds is even better. Those people who
didn't want to talk to you will eventually call you, hoping you'll go
away after you have finally made a contact.
22) Give out repeater FM signal reports using the HF
SSBR-S system ("You're 5 by 9 here.") Sure it's considered improper for
FM operation and you may even confuse some people, but don't let that
spoil your fun!
23) Always use a repeater, even if you can work the
other station easily on simplex ... especially if you can make the
contact on simplex. The coverage of the repeater you use should be
inversely proportional to your distance from the other station.
24) If you and the other station are both within a
mile or two of the repeater you are using, you should always give a
signal report. ("I'm sitting under the repeater and I know you can see
it from there, but you're full quieting into the repeater. How about
me?")
25) In the same vein as the previous step, when
monitoring a repeater, you should always give signal reports as if the
repeater didn't exist. ("Yep I'm right under the repeater. You've got a
whopping signal You're S-9 plus60. That must be a great rig.")
26) On repeaters with courtesy tones, you should
always say "over." Courtesy tones are designed to let everyone know when
you have un keyed, but don't let that stop you. Say "over," "back to
you," or "go ahead." It serves no useful purpose, but don't worry--it's
still fun.
27) Think up interesting and bizarre things to do to
tie-up the repeater. The goal here is not to facilitate communications
but to entertain all the scanner listeners out there. Do something
original. Try to hum CTCSS (PL) tones. Sing pager tones. You're getting
the idea.
28) Use the repeater's auto patch for frivolous
routine calls. While pulling into the neighborhood, call home to let
them know you'll be there in two minutes. Or call your spouse to
complain about the bad day you had at work. After all, the club/owner
has "measured rate" service on their phone line, so they get charged for
each auto patch call. Your endeavor is to make so many patches in a year
that cost the club/owner at least $20 in phone bills.
That way you'll feel you got your money's worth for
your dues!
29) Never say "My name is. . ." It makes you sound
human. If at all possible, use one of the following phrases: (a) "The
personal here is. . ." (b)" The handle here is. . ." Normally,
handles are for suitcases, but it's OK to use them anyway. Don't forget
this has worked just fine for CB'ers for years.
30) Use 73 and 88 incorrectly. Both are already
considered plural, but add a "S" to the end anyway. Say 73's or
88's. Who cares if it means "best regardses" and "love and kisseses."
Better yet, say "seventy thirds." (By the way, 70 thirds equals about
23.3)
31) Make people think you have a split personality by
referring to yourself in the plural phrase. When you're in conversation
and are alone at your radio, always say "We're" or "We've" instead of
"I'm" or "I've" (i.e. "we've been doing this . . ." "we're doing that. .
.","we're clear"). Everyone knows you're by yourself, but when they ask
you who is with you, make up somebody important like Arnold
Schwarzenegger or Bill Clinton.
32) Always attempt to use the higher functions of the
repeater before you have read the directions. Nothing will work, but
you'll have great fun and get lots of people to give you advice.
33) Test repeater functions repeatedly (that's why
they call it a repeater). Test your signal strength from the same
locations several times every day. Concentrate on testing things that
really matter, like the number of times the repeater has been keyed-up.
That stuff is fun to track. Test the outside temperature as often as
possible. The farther the temperature goes from the norms, the more
often you should test it. Also, if you get a pager set to the repeater's
output frequency, as soon as you receive it, set it off every 30 seconds
or so until the battery runs down. Better yet, interrupt conversations
to test it.
34) If the repeater is off the air for service, or any
other reason, as soon as it's turned back on, complain about the fact
that it was off the air. Act as though your entire day has been ruined
because the repeater wasn't available when you wanted to use it. This
takes "Whining" to a whole new level!
35) Find ways to get around the "no business rule" on
auto patches. Your plan is to try and fool the repeater control
operators. Invent code words your secretary at work will understand to
disguise any business talk so it sounds like personal chatter. Or get to
be friends with the local Domino's Pizza manager. Make it so that when
you call on the patch to ask him to bring over the "floppy disk" you
need to your house, he shows-up 30 minutes later with a piping hot large
pepperoni and sausage pie. The possibilities are endless. . .
Just using a few of these easy steps should put you
well on the way to Lid-hood. I hope these helpful hints will save you
some time in your quest to sound like the perfect Lid.
10
meters. The new age CB!
Have you listened
on 10meters lately ? Take a listen almost anytime the band is open. You
will hear 28.400 sounding like most cb channels.
This is getting
out of hand. The low life's from 11 meters have all got no-code licenses
and moved into the 28.300-28.500 slot. Everybody talking over each other
and bringing all the stupid slang to the ham bands.
Listen in and hear
them saying things like, 73's, what's your first
personal ? What's your 20 ? I
even heard one guy call his HR 2510 a
'Quarter-Dime. One guy, a KI4 from Alabama was even heard to say,
" this is KI4... callin cq cq cum on ! Or how about the guy that brags
about running a kilowatt and only has a tech license. He says if he gets
caught, he'll just say he didn't know the rules....sound familiar ?
Please, Please
learn the ways of being a ham. Your only disrupting the hobby.
Stay on 2meters till you have learned how to conduct yourself on local
bands before you move to the worldwide bands. We as Americans don't need
to show the whole world how stupid and uneducated we are. I suspect the
DX stays above 28.500 for this reason.
Solve the problem.
Require code. It's what separates us from the apes. The ability to
learn.
The NEW Hierarchy is:
Extra w/20 wpm
Extra w/13 wpm
Advanced w /13 wpm
General w /13 wpm.
Extra-Lite or Techxtra w / 5 wpm)
Enhanced Novice (formerly 5 wpm General)
Original Tech-Plus w/ 5 wpm
Novice w / 5 wpm
*No-Code Extra
*No-Code General
*No-Code Tech plus
No-Coders
are still low on the food chain.
Technician classes
start NOW !
WHO'S WHO IN HAM RADIO
AMATEUR EXTRA:
Lifts buildings and walks under them;
Kicks locomotives off the track;
Catches speeding bullets in their teeth AND EATS THEM;
Freezes water with a single glance;
THEY ARE GOD!
ADVANCED:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound;
Is more powerful than a locomotive;
Is faster than a speeding bullet;
Walks on water, and gives policy to GOD.
GENERAL:
Leaps short buildings in a single bound;
Is more powerful than a switch engine;
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet;
Walks on water if the sea is calm;
Talks with GOD.
TECH-PLUS:
Runs into buildings;
Recognizes locomotive two out of three times;
Is not issued ammunition;
Can stay afloat with a life preserver;
Talks to walls.
TECH:
Falls over doorsteps when entering buildings;
Says, "Look at the choo-choo";
Wets himself with a water pistol;
Plays in mud puddles;
Mumbles to himself.
TECHNICIAN (Old):
Barely clears a quonset hut;
Looses tug-of-war with a locomotive;
Can fire a speeding bullet;
Swims well;
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
NOVICE:
Makes high marks on the wall when trying
to leap small buildings;
Is run over by locomotive;
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury;
Talks to animals.
NO CODE EXTRA, GENERAL, TECH PLUS:
Flaunts honorary degree in "Tall Building Jumping";
Exhibits powerful ulterior "Loco Motives";
Attempts to avoid speeding bullets;
Is able to "Pass Water", usually without difficulty
Denys the existence of GOD; Cohort of CB'ers
Author Unknown; But rumor has it, that he has been
demoted to 11 meters and is now a CBer, he can occasionally be heard
Eastbound and Down!
So now, your a no
code tech. Do you need an explanation of what propagation is ?
That's the proper name for what
you No-Coders call
SKIP!
Here is
The Basics of VHF and UHF signal propagation
The power limit on HF is 200 W PEP output for all
Technician operators.
Keeping a tech at 200 watts is like
keeping a CBer at 5 watts.
|
28.000-28.300 MHz: CW, RTTY/Data--Maximum power 200 watts
PEP
28.300-28.500 MHz: CW, Phone--Maximum power 200 watts PEP
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And, real hams will never ask you
for your first personnel.
We just ask what your name is.
Don't be a Pin Head!
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Just remember
You can't
teach stupid, cause it's a gift
Why do no-coders use such
stupid phrases? I just heard two hams
talking and at the end of the conversation, one no-coder said
"seventy thirds." Why didn't he just take "seventy thirds"
to it's lowest common denominator ...
23 1/3. Do the math. The phrase is "7
3" not even 73's. 73 means
best wishes. 73's would mean best wisheses. Wise up. Your
amateur radio operators now. NOT CB'ers.
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Recently, A local
newbie no-coder asked if he got more privileges on CB since he got his
coveted no-code tech license.
One of these newbies was recently
overheard saying:
"I have 65 watts
up to the antenna and 500 milliamps reflected."
No More code. *Effective date
2-23-2007
Black Friday:
The dumbing down of amateur
radio!
(NCI)
No
Code International
An organization dedicated
to the ruination and degradation of amateur radio
*12/15/2006
The day the CW music died
As a member of
the board of directors of
NCI, .
W5YI plays both ends against the middle
With a reputation
for 'Selling' licenses, W5YI VE's get
caught
AGAIN
I'm
a rare breed. I'm a ham that thinks the ARRL sold us out. We have a
bunch of no-coder 2 meter dwellers that will never experience ham radio.
And soon we get extra's that can't copy 13 wpm...what's
next ?
Well, what's Next is a ZERO WPM extra......Thank
you ARRL and NCI and W5YI
www.fists.org/
FCC evidence exists
that proves Morse Code (CW) proficiency is an indicator of a desirable,
motivated, and better qualified operator. Proficiency at Morse Code
demonstrates that the operator has worked hard to earn HF privileges and
is dedicated to the art and science of Amateur Radio. The overwhelming
majority of violations of the FCC code governing Amateur Radio concern
operation in the VHF/UHF spectrum, often involving repeaters, and
Technician class operators. I have seen only one alleged violation by a
CW operator. (ref. “FCC Amateur
Radio Enforcement Letters”, as posted on the ARRL web site).
It was announced
today that Kellogg's and the Federal
Communications
Commission
have signed a pact to issue Amateur Radio Licenses on specially marked
boxes of Corn Flakes.....
One no-code technician really asked.
"Is antenna length
limited to the license that one has? If so, where can I
find information on this? What is the best length antenna one
could have as
a Technician?"
"CB
Radio is the white trash internet". 10-4
No-Code Techs are
the Welfare Parasites of Ham Radio. They are lazy to the core of
the marrow of their bones. This is a classic example of what we can all
expect in the future as they become the vocal majority of Ham Radio
operators. Chalk it up to those asinine individuals (and organizations
such as the ARRL) that petitioned for no-code status because of their
laziness (individuals) or the profit motive (organizations that sell
magazines, tapes, etc.). It is the beginning of the end for Ham Radio as
we know it. In the future, it will be monopolized by the same
"No-Coders" that are engaging the age-old practice of dominating a
situation and therefore displaying their power and authority. They bow
down to their local repeater God 5 times a day on their prayer rugs and
don't want to know about the real world of Ham Radio beyond the repeater
horizon. I apologize for being this upset over something and expressing
it over the Internet but few things cause my bile to boil as much as the
general attitude I've run across in the "No-Coders" I've run across. It
is a display of arrogance that they DON'T HAVE TO and WON'T learn code
and I absolutely and irrevocably detest it.
On Top of Everything Else
No Coders and old timers want the privileges that
incentive licensing took away.
The Quarter Century Wireless Association, Inc. has filed a
petition with the Federal Communications Commission requesting
rulemaking action to amend Section 97.505(a) of the Commission's Rules
for the Amateur Radio Service. This amendment would facilitate the
restoration of those privileges withdrawn from Advanced and General
Class operator licensees on November 22, 1968. The amended rule would do
this by requiring administering volunteer examiners to give examination
Element 4 credit to current Advanced and General Class licensees also
holding an FCC-issued Advanced, General or Conditional Class operator
license granted before November 22, 1968. By doing such, the person
would become eligible for a Amateur Extra Class operator license, the
privileges of which include those withdrawn on November 22, 1968. On
November 22, 1968, amateur operators holding Advanced, General and
Conditional Class licenses lost significant operating privileges as a
result of rules adopted by the FCC in implementing a system of incentive
licensing. Every Advanced, General and Conditional Class operator was
affected adversely. Within the instant of but a single tick of the
clock, their privileges on the most popular amateur service bands were
reduced drastically. To regain the privileges withdrawn, a licensee had
to upgrade to Amateur Extra Class by traveling to an FCC office and
passing difficult high-speed telegraphy and written examinations.
It is the QCWA view that no useful purpose is being served by
continuing to deny the privileges withdrawn to those amateur operators
who still suffer from that action. The single issue addressed in the
petition is the need to restore to these operators the privileges they
have not enjoyed for some 32 years. In sharp contrast with the
compassionate "grandfathering" provisions recently adopted for the
amateur service, the transition to incentive licensing imposed an
injustice on all amateur operators holding an Advanced, General or
Conditional Class operator license grant on November 22, 1968. It
brought serious disruption to the amateur service and created ill will
within the amateur service community. Although many, if not most, of the
licensees affected have since upgraded to a higher operator class, there
is a widespread belief within the amateur service community that the
abrupt withdrawing of privileges was unjust to all Advanced, General and
Conditional Class operator licensees of that era.
There remains today, at most, a few thousand amateur operators
so affected who have not chosen to upgrade. Some do so as their
statement in protest to having been affected so adversely. Clearly,
these licensees lost significant privileges for which they had
previously qualified by examination before FCC examiners. Moreover, for
many years - in some instances for many decades - these licensees had
been using those privileges at their amateur stations. Most certainly,
they had proven conclusively their proficiency in operating an amateur
station properly with those privileges. Then, in that instant of time,
those very privileges were withdrawn.
As the organization whose purpose is to promote cooperation and
friendship among amateur operators of at least 25 years of service, the
QCWA seeks a prompt ending of the injustice being suffered by those
within its constituency. The QCWA is committed to promoting interest in
the amateur service and the advancement of the electronic art, making
use of the reservoir of knowledge and experience among the nearly 10,000
members of the QCWA for the benefit of all amateur operators and the
furtherance of the public welfare through amateur service
communications.
-------------------------------------------
May God bless the QCWA for trying to fix that wrong.
One day, while listening to a
conversation on 146.50, I was amazed at how low the overall IQ of ham
radio had dropped. Two stations were talking, and only one of them was
clear. When they were asked why one of them was on 146.50 and the other
was on 146.495 their answer was, "Your *radidio* must need tweaking cuz
were close together and it sounds fine to us!"
On one of those rare occasions that I
actually talked to a no-coder on 2-meters, I was on 146.52 simplex. The
conversation was going well till out of no where the familiar flash of
ignorance reared it's head again. The No-Coder was really proud of the
fact that my signal was as strong on the reverse as it was on 52. Where
do these people come from ?
Another No-Code funny. During a recent
weather net, an OLD guy, but a no-coder no
less, checked into the net as a mobile in route to his
spotting location. A few minutes later, the
No-Coder notified net control that he was designated. Net control asked
for his QTH. The No-Coder responded, "The drive thru at McDonalds."
What's with all
the no-coders and vanity calls?! Do these idiots actually think people
will think that their old timers? Guess again. The minute they open
their mouth, the cat will be out of the bag. Real ham's won't ask you
what your First Personal is, say 10-4, or what's your 20?
Definition of award:
A worked all states
via email award. Before you laugh, I overheard 2 No-Code tech's talking
on a local repeater. The gist of the conversation was How to get a WAS
award when all you can do is work repeaters. The smart one of the two
suggested "we could bootleg on the 'high ones' "referring to operating
above channel 40 on 11meters. The really stupid one of the two came up
with the whiz-bang idea of a EWAS. He said it has to be as hard or
harder than just getting on the radio and calling 40 states, even on the
uppers. Yea, said the smart one, You'd have to look up allot of email
addresses and send them email and hope they qsl'ed right back.
DUH!
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE.
It’s just like learning to ride a bicycle. It’s far better to learn the
Morse symbols by sound, and not sight! It is not a good idea to memorize
a written table. Get an experienced Morse operator to send characters to
you with an audio oscillator, saying each character after it’s sent. You
want to recognize the characters by their sound. Tapes are available
which will teach you to recognize the symbols by their sound.
The ideal method to learn Morse is by use of a computer. Morse code
training programs are available — see below for one of them.
Learn each character at a speed of about 12 - 14 WPM, with long gaps
between characters. The gaps will close as you advance. When you have
learned the characters, you can practice from a tape at varying speeds.
Copying random, 5 character groups is good for reinforcing the
characters in your mind and finding those that trip you up, but don’t
practice only with these. Move on to plain language once you have
attained reasonable proficiency. The Morse test is a plain language one,
and copying plain language is very different from copying random groups.
Make Morse a part of your daily life. When you walk or drive down the
street translate signs into Morse, and sound them under your breath. At
home, translate newspaper text into Morse the same way. No longer will
the lame excuse " I don't have time " be valid.
Always keep yourself stretched out in your receiving practice. When you
get to about 90 percent accuracy at one speed move up a little faster
until you can manage accurately at about 6 or 7 words per minute (WPM)
for the 5 WPM test . You now have good buffer for the test.
Most people find it easier to print rather than write at first. Avoid
anticipating what is coming next. Many mistakes are made during the test
by those who wrongly anticipate the following character or word.
Learn sending only after the correct sound of the characters is embedded
in your mind. Use a straight key but open up the contacts to a
reasonable gap for a start with the key secure and on the edge of the
table. Arm at right angles, elbow level with the key. Imagine an axle
through your elbow keeping it stationary. Place two fingers on the knob
with the thumb underneath. Now send both dots and dashes by pumping your
wrist. Don’t send too fast! Make sure your dashes and dots are sent with
the correct 3:1 ratio. It is very frustrating trying to read Morse where
the dots and dashes are about the same length. And make sure your
characters have enough space between them. Running characters together
often happens when an operator is trying to send faster than manual
dexterity allows.
Finally, remember that Morse operators have their own international CW
abbreviations which allow you to communicate easily with those in
foreign countries. All CW hams know the basic
English words for a good contact and you won’t have accent problems with
Morse.
The Radio Amateur is
CONSIDERATE...never knowingly operates in such
a way as to lessen the pleasure of others.
LOYAL...offers loyalty, encouragement and
support to other amateurs, local clubs, and the American Radio Relay
League, through which Amateur Radio in the United States is represented
nationally and internationally.
PROGRESSIVE...with knowledge abreast of
science, a well-built and efficient station and operation above
reproach.
FRIENDLY...slow and patient operating when
requested; friendly advice and counsel to the beginner; kindly
assistance, cooperation and consideration for the interests of others.
These are the hallmarks of the amateur spirit.
BALANCED...radio is an avocation, never
interfering with duties owed to family, job, school or community.
PATRIOTIC...station and skill always ready for
service to country and community.
--The original
Amateur's Code was written by Paul M. Segal, W9EEA, in 1928.
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